Key Takeaways for What is Couples Counselling.
- AERCS offers specialized couples counselling services.
- Focus on addressing communication issues, intimacy concerns, and life-love balance.
- Unique approach includes understanding each couple’s dynamics and promoting growth.
- Utilizes methods like the Gottman Method for relationship enhancement.
- Aims to help couples recognize harmful behaviors and benefits of counselling.
- Supports couples in building stronger, healthier relationships.
For more information, visit the AERCS Couples Counselling page.
When you and your partner feel stuck in the same painful loop, couples counselling can offer a structured, evidence-based way forward. Within the first few sessions, you will see that this is not a place for blame, it is a guided process that helps both of you communicate more clearly, understand recurring conflict patterns, and strengthen emotional connection.
How the Gottman Method Shapes Modern Couples Counselling.
The Gottman Method, created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman after decades of research, is one of the most widely used frameworks in relationship therapy. Here is what you can expect:
1. Assessment Phase.
- Relationship Check-up: You complete detailed questionnaires that highlight friendship, intimacy, conflict, values, and shared meaning.
- Individual Interviews: The therapist meets each of you briefly on your own to gather background and ensure safety.
2. Structured Interventions.
- Love Map and Fondness Exercises: You rebuild positive feelings by asking open-ended questions and expressing appreciation.
- “Four Horsemen” Replacement Skills: Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling are swapped for gentle start-ups, taking responsibility, gratitude, and self-soothing.
- Dreams Within Conflict Dialogues: You learn to uncover the deeper hopes beneath recurring fights so compromise feels safe.
3. Ongoing Integration.
- Weekly sessions focus on one skill at a time.
- You leave each appointment with concrete homework to practise at home.
- Progress is measured with brief check-ins and periodic re-assessment.
Research shows that clients who finish couple therapy are better off than 70–80 percent of couples who do not seek help, and the Gottman approach specifically reports success rates around 75 percent.
Key Goals You and Your Partner Will Tackle.
Rewire Communication.
- Shift from “You never listen” to “I feel unheard when…”
- Practise timed speaker–listener turns so both voices are heard.
Break Conflict Patterns.
- Track triggers together, then replace reactive statements with calm curiosity.
- Schedule “State of the Union” meetings weekly to resolve minor issues before they snowball.
Deepen Emotional Connection.
- Build daily rituals of connection, such as a six-second kiss or sharing a gratitude note.
- Explore each partner’s “love language” and integrate it into everyday gestures
Inside a Typical Session: What It Feels Like.
| Session Stage | What We Do Together | What You Practise at Home |
|---|---|---|
| Check-in | Review highs and lows of the week | Five-minute stress-reducing conversations |
| Skill Demo | Therapist models an exercise (e.g., Soft Start-Up) | Repeat the exercise for 20 minutes, three times this week |
| Debrief | Identify what felt easy or hard | Record reflections in a shared journal |
Expect the therapist to stay neutral. Their role is to coach the relationship rather than side with one partner.
Three Success Factors You Control.
- Openness: Be ready to share honest thoughts, even if they feel vulnerable.
- Consistency: Attend sessions regularly and treat them as a priority, the same way you would a medical appointment.
- Daily Practise: Skills only stick when you rehearse them between sessions, five minutes a day is better than none.
Evidence, Numbers, and Why Timing Matters.
- Couples who start therapy within the first six years of serious conflict are far more likely to recover than those who wait a decade or longer.
- In Canada, divorce petitions dropped by 25 percent in 2020, partly because couples sought alternative supports, such as counselling, during court slow-downs.
- Couples in Gottman-based workshops improved relationship satisfaction whether they attended in person or online
Ready to Begin? Practical Next Steps.
- Research Qualified Therapists
- Look for licences (e.g., RCC, RP, RSW) and specific training in the Gottman Method Levels 1 and 2.
- Book a Consultation
- Most therapists offer a brief, complimentary call so you can gauge fit.
- Set a Shared Goal
- Agree on one tangible change you both want to see in the next month.
Take the First Step Toward a Stronger Relationship.
Couples counselling is not a quick fix, but it is a proven, structured path to better communication, healthier conflict management, and deeper emotional connection. If you and your partner are ready to move from frustration to teamwork, I invite you to book an appointment or schedule a 15-minute complimentary phone consultation today. Let us work together so your relationship can thrive.
What exactly is couples counselling and how can it help my relationship?
Couples counselling is a structured, professional process that helps you and your partner address communication problems, emotional disconnect, and recurring conflict. It provides a safe space to explore relationship dynamics, learn healthier ways to communicate, and rebuild connection. For couples feeling stuck or overwhelmed, this approach offers both insight and practical tools to move forward together.
When should we consider starting couples counselling?
It is best to begin couples counselling as soon as you notice recurring problems, frequent arguments, or emotional distance. Research shows that couples who seek help within the first six years of serious conflict have a much higher success rate. Waiting too long can make the patterns harder to change, so early intervention is key.
How does the Gottman Method used in couples counselling actually work?
The Gottman Method is a research-backed approach used in many couples counselling sessions. It starts with a detailed relationship assessment, followed by guided exercises that focus on communication, managing conflict, and strengthening emotional bonds. You will learn techniques like soft start-ups and active listening, and practise them with coaching during and between sessions.
Will the therapist take sides during couples counselling sessions?
No, a trained couples counselling therapist stays neutral. Their goal is to support the relationship itself, not to choose sides. They act more like a coach, helping both partners feel heard while guiding you through tools and exercises that promote empathy, clarity, and teamwork.
What can we do at home to make couples counselling more effective?
Practising what you learn between sessions is essential for lasting change. During couples counselling, you will be given short homework exercises like daily check-ins, appreciation rituals, or conflict de-escalation techniques. Committing just five minutes a day can greatly increase the success of your sessions and help you build a stronger, healthier relationship.
